Musings...

I can't sleep. Again. I've been listening to a pretty melodic thunderstorm for the past 2 hours...& playing Scrabble....

It's been a very eventful weekend in some ways, but mostly it's just been...Quiet. I've very much been enjoying the pleasure of my own company, & the companionship of my dog.

Recently, I've re-read one of my very favorite fantasy series--The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb. I adore these books....I revere them. I tore through them, & then promptly moved onto to re-read the Liveship Traders Trilogy....the next threesome of novels that make up the Elderling Saga, as there are presently 11 (?) novels that interlace/share worlds ....& I am reading them all in sequence. This is the first time I'll have done that...I've always wanted to...

Somewhat for enjoyment...& somewhat as part of a ...bizarre spiritual Quest.

The books are leading me somewhere.

But that's for another time.

There's a sadness, a lingering memory that I just can't seem to vanquish--that I find clinging to my enjoyment of the Liveship books. I want to finish them, & move onto the next trilogy...though I love the story contained within them as much, well, almost as much...as the others. The first time I read them--I was completely enthralled. I tore through the first two paperbacks in record time, & then, being too impatient to wait for the final book to come out in paperback to find out what happened to my imaginary friends...I bought the hardcover.

& got in a horrible fight with my significant other about it.

I am no longer with him. I do not regret that. However, for reasons I still do not entirely understand...memories like this one, sadden me greatly. Perhaps because I do not understand how someone who swore to "love" me could have been so cruel to me...for spending my own hard earned money on a book I loved & so terribly wanted to read....simply because it cost $10 more?

It doesn't matter. It's in the past.

Actually...that was the "significant" part of my reclusive & lazy weekend. There was but one tie left...to the person I once believed I would love "forever".

One insignificant piece of paper...a title of ownership....

I signed it....thus setting myself Free.

My life belongs only to Me....

Perhaps there's just too much to think about tonight...too many gears cranking & swiveling about inside my brain....but I do believe the storm has stopped....